


Undone

by queen_scribbles



Category: Star Wars Legends: The Old Republic (Video Game)
Genre: Gen, Jedi Code (Star Wars), Light Side Sith Warrior, Light-Side Jaesa Willsaam, Wild Space Expedition
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-05
Updated: 2020-01-05
Packaged: 2021-02-27 14:54:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 428
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22129069
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/queen_scribbles/pseuds/queen_scribbles
Summary: The Jedi Code is meant to be a source of strength. Sometimes, that strength's not enough.
Relationships: Male Sith Warrior & Jaesa Willsaam
Kudos: 12





	Undone

Jaesa watched Darth Marr’s ship explode with wide eyes and felt her heart shatter in tandem with the vessel. The soft, trembling, “ _No_ ,” that escaped her lips in no way did justice to the sense of loss tearing through her.

_**There is no emotion there is peace.** _

_Where is he, where **is he**?!_ She reached out frantically through the Force, feeling for the familiar heartbeat, the warm presence she knew well as her own, and crashed against a hollow nothingness. He wasn’t there, why wasn’t he _there?!_

_**There is no ignorance, there is knowledge** _

Desperation pushed her closer to the transparisteel, as if the stars he loved so much could provide an answer. Jaesa swallowed the lump in her throat, fighting for calm and unable to find it. She _needed_ him.

_**There is no passion, there is serenity.** _

That dreadful hollow space remained no matter what she tried; and finally she fell to her knees, hand pressed to the viewport as she wondered what she was supposed to _do_ now. All of their work, all of their efforts and alliances with other Light-leaning Sith would fall apart without him. Despite the joking irreverence they gave the titles, he was the master and she the apprentice. (Apprentice to who, now? What Sith would want the former Jedi, and what Jedi would trust someone who served a Sith? No one would believe the Empire’s Wrath followed the Light.) She lacked his charisma and no amount of earnest pleading or remembered faith he had in her could make up the difference. All the allies they’d made would scatter, retreat into the safety of solitude. Their unity lost to the madness of Sith politics. All their hard work, gone, as if it had never been done in the first place.

_**There is no chaos, there is harmony.** _

No one else from the crew disturbed her–too busy dealing with the fact they’d lost the _Empire’s Wrath_ (and their friend)–so Jaesa didn’t know how long she knelt on the floor. Shoulder pressed against the wall, hands over her mouth, silent tears streaming down her face, she tried _again_ and _**again**_. Even if part of her knew it was hopeless; she’d’ve sensed him by now if he was there, she couldn’t stop trying. With their bond, she would’ve felt if he’d… died, she _would’ve_. But she _hadn’t_ , which meant he had to be _somewhere_. He _had to be_ , because she didn’t know what she’d do if he _wasn’t._ She couldn’t lose him.

Not like this.

_**There is no death, there is the Force.** _

**Author's Note:**

> Prompt fill from tumblr that was originally supposed to be happier. But then stupid spotify shuffle decided to give me Ashes (Claire Guerreso) and Watching for Comets(Skillet) right in a row, and since those songs give me big-time feelings for Tragen and Jaesa circa the destruction of the Wild Space Expedition, there was a change of plan. And I like the result enough I wanna cross-post even if it's not long


End file.
